Feelings, mere feelings

What is love
what is lust
which will get
the best of us

its frustrating to untangle thee
to know which is more real
if my intentions are noble
or are just physical

Im not sure if they are separate
these feelings we feel
for someone we desire
that we wish was real

I just know I want you
I feel happy when you are near
I wish to be close to you
and feel what you feel

I wish you would let me in
and let me know what you think
I fear you never will
that you will leave me still

I think you don't know
what you really want
i think you feel obligated
to stick with what you got

I wonder sometimes
if you just want a fling
something with no labels
something with no strings

That makes me sad
I cannot lie
Yet I'm so insecure
I'll give it a try

In the hope that you will let go
of the other love you used to know
and take a chance on me even if it may end
thats a lot to ask, and i understand if you pass

Killed us Slowly

Friendship is dead

Our spirits have died

dopamine highs

are what we strive

Our thoughts are empty

our hearts are numb

physical pleasure

is our treasure

No time is left

to wonder at the stars

to be curious

and filled with awe

every second must be filled

otherwise we take a pill

our thoughts must be confined

otherwise we will find

these distractions killed us slowly

left us dry and lonely

with nobody to share our joy

over our trinkets and toys

Distant Friends

He set foot inside
God's house once again
its been a long time
God said to his friend

Yes it has, not sure why i'm here
I thought maybe you knew
God please enlighten me
I'd like to hear.

You are here not for me.
That much I see.
You think I will get
a pretty lady for thee.

Thats spot on God!
Way to go,
don't worry I will be a good sport,
I'll go with the flow.

What about your principles?
How can you lie?
Deceive yourself and her?
I know that isn't you.

Yes God it isn't.
the truth isn't pretty,
thats why my brain,
is creative and quite willing.

It crafted a decent story.
One in which I cared,
to get to know you Lord,
with my cross to bear.

My motives were not entirely false
I did not go to the same house
I picked a different one Lord
don't you see?

I did see that,
thats good of thee,
maybe in time,
you will respect me.

Lord I know I'm a fool,
that only calls on you in need,
that rejects you when times are good
and cries to you when in pain

But so much about you i don't understand
and you don't do anything to ease my doubts
even doubting Thomas saw the scars
why must you hide as if from mars?

Ah i see you are gone again,
so be it, my divine friend,
i guess i'll get going,
sorry i'm a bad friend.

Happiness

Happiness is not something you achieve
its who you are
you either have it or you don't
its really not that hard

Fortunes wither
glory fades
spouses die
pleasure decays

These may temper that inner dread
that unhappiness you hide
but that will never satisfy
the devil that lives inside

The devil that gnaws at your thoughts
always demanding your time
wanting to smash your skull
and leave you to rot inside

Defeating this devil will unlock the cure
to this unhappiness for sure
to finally feel free
to be content with me

Losing Control

Faster faster faster he rides

trying to outrun his mind

wishing wishing so dearly

for a little time

soon he rides too fast

he loses control

he regrets the past

his being a fool

but he cannot stop

the brakes are broken

so he resists in vain

as the road flees before him

He sees the end

its just over there

he's heading towards it

what terror he feels

yet over there is escape

over there is no more

no more sadness

no more war

Its not the end he wanted

but maybe the one he needs

roller coaster be damned

eternal rest is keen